Deference, Demeanour And Super Creeps

What's It All About?

If you were a little lost in regards to what Goffman's “The Nature of Deference and Demeanor” was talking about; to put it simply, 'deference' is described as part of an action that symbolically indicates appreciation between an individual and a recipient, confirming relations between the two, such as the commonplace use of apologies, greetings and compliments. On the other hand, 'demeanour' is indicated as being related to the way in which an individual presents themself to society, signalling either positive or negative qualities through things like the clothes they choose to wear and how they act. 

Both concepts relate to the lecture content regarding the presentation of self. Through conscious decisions in terms of the aspects of 'demeanour' that can be controlled, such as clothing chosen to wear, an individual can, to a degree, regulate how others perceive them. 'Deference' allows a person engage in positive interactions with others, building a positive image, even though it may be quite mild, in the minds of those they interact with, influencing the presentation of self and the perceptions of others.Together, deference and demeanour can allow an individual to attempt to only present a positive, or negative, if for some reason they want to, presentation of themself to society.

My only real criticisms lay in regards to Goffman's discussion of the relationship between 'demeanour' and 'deference'. On my first read of the essay I found it a bit difficult to understand how exactly the two concepts of 'deference' and 'demeanour' interacted, but going back and considering the examples and explanation given a second time meant it eventually made sense.

Example Time!

I found the concept of 'ceremonial profanation' (pp85-90), whereby individuals poke fun at ceremonial forms, one of the most interesting aspects of the essay. Whilst reading Goffman’s explanation of the concept of 'ceremonial profanation', I immediately realised that this term describes clearly then interaction that occurs between two of my friends, a 24 year old male, Vernon*, and an 18 year old female, Tia.

Vernon almost always addresses Tia in what would be viewed as a ‘super creepy’ 'demeanour', characterised by his tone of voice and word choice, by anyone who does not know him. However, the manner in which Vernon addresses Tia is not malicious, but rather part of a long running joke between the two. Vernon’s actions serve to facetiously mock the stereotype of the older man preying on the younger female and do so on a level of symmetrical familiarity with Tia, meaning that whilst she is a bit freaked out by Vernon from time to time, she knows that his actions are a joke. 

However, when Vernon decided a couple of weeks ago that it would be a good idea to photoshop both his and Tia’s faces onto the main characters of The Labyrinth, Tia wasn’t so impressed…

*Vernon’s real name has been changed to prevent everyone who reads this from thinking he’s a bigger creeper than he is.